Your pants are on fire

Droopy plants and rainclouds

2008-07-26T10:53:00.000-07:00

I'm at one of those weird places that you wish for when you're bombarded with things to do, but have no idea what to do with once it arrives. Not much in the way of outside obligations. I do what I want for the most part, including taking a break from everything and doing lots of reading and marathoning Weeds.

I'm more content than I've been in a long time, but I haven't figured out of contentedness is equivocal to happiness. At the very least it's similar. So here I am at a place I could easily remain for a good chunk of my life; I have the freedom to do what I want, be it train, hang out with people, or do nothing at all. I can strive for and attain my goals and aspirations and come home and still be content with normality.

Unfortunetly, I'm actively avoiding one conversation that keeps nagging at me. Partially, I don't think he's ready to hear it yet. But mostly, I know that I'm not ready to tell him.

Oh well.

Amy out.

Pepper spray is a 100% effective form of contraceptive

2008-04-30T00:10:00.000-07:00

A week from tomorrow, I can kick back, relax, and set about making money. Two weeks from Thursday I get my first tattoo. Tonight, I simply enjoy the direction my life has taken me.

I have so much to do between now and the end of semester. Just a week, seven puny, insignificant days, and hardly enough hours to accomplish what I need to to cap off the year. At this point, I don't even know what I'm doing for a summer job. The coffee shop is not an option; I have never loathed a person with such violence that I develop a tick. I won't hear back from DoT for a few more days, and if I haven't heard from them by the 15th I'm probably shit out of luck. Working for F&G with kids and guns is an option and I should know by the end of this week if I got that job.

Lots of uncertainty for so much time and planning.

Iron Man comes out on Friday. I'm looking forward to it, even with the full-blown knowledge that it will probably be a disappointment. I'm going because Tony Stark is my superhero. Everyone else can have Spiderman, Superman, and Batman. I choose the man who made himself with science. Fuck the others.

Watchmen is out next summer. The potential is limitless, especially given that the writer is supposed to be working on the film. Plus, the plot is movie-perfect. What could go wrong? (No, don't answer that, I know the answer is "Everything.")

Hellboy 2, Dark Knight, Sin City 2, X-men 4 (from what I've heard, pretty much just Weapon X), and Wanted are en route in the next year. I'm pretty sure I saw something about an Avengers film, and I don't need to even start on how much potential Iron Man has for such a film. Except for the whole Cap thing....

Life could get interesting fast.

But on the other hand, life could stay where it is and I'd remain content, at least for a while.

Amy out.

ohgodohgodohgod school

2008-03-26T00:31:00.001-07:00

Today feels surreal. Not because I've done anything stunning, or even accomplished much. Because I plotted out the guidelines for the next four years of my life. For now, it looks frightening and insurmountable. Four years of math and engineering classes to achieve my dreams. At least 14 credits a semester, plus 20 hours of rifle a week. I know there's enough time in the day. I've done far worse. But it's my future and I haven't gotten there yet and so I'm scared by it.

There's not really much else to say. Here I am and here I be and here I are forever. I have a lot of hopes and dreams on the line right now. I've put lots of me out there and now I'm just waiting for something to make it worth it. You put yourself out there and you'll always be let down, rejected, not what they want right now. The hard part is continuing to try after the first wave of defeat.

Tomorrow, the future. Tonight I dream.

Classy suits and Big guns. What's not to love?

2007-12-09T22:25:00.000-08:00

I am remarkably close to graduation. 6 days of real class, three days of finals, then a month off. I'm so close I can taste it. It helps remarkably that I'm insanely sick of high school and got into the college classes I wanted. Woo.

The world turns.

I'm going stir crazy. I haven't seen my boy in over two weeks, even through he lives in the same town I do. This must be remedied.

I am under orders to take time off for shooting for a few days to relax, calm down, and unwind. This s frustrating, because I now have too much time on my hands and nothing at all to do with it other than get drunk.

There are too many exciting and tantalizing video games out recently, and not enough hours in the month to play them. Thus far, I have resisted their allure in favor of school and shooting, and the occasional comic. I'm out of fresh comics.

And "Hitman" rocked my world. For starters, the game was classy. What was really cool was that the movie was classy (well, as classy as you get with nudity and a main character who's a whore). Lots of the footage was reminiscent of the gameplay, and all but one of the fight scenes were well filmed and enchanting. There were some big, extremely pretty guns. There were some very nice suits and one-liners. The acting was superb.

You really have to have liked the game to like the "Hitman" movie. The sexy, awkwardly unsocial assassin seems irritatingly dull to the uninformed. But damn if he wasn't manly and attractive and quite deep for somebody based off a video game.

What drew me in the most was the movie didn't take itself too seriously. For shits sake, the main character crashed through a window into a room with two kids playing, you guessed it, Hitman. Pause. Snicker. Move on. There were lots of moments like that throughout the film; little things you catch the second time around that make it worth seeing twice.

And yes, the girl was hot.

Amy out.

Upcoming movies of comic greatness

2007-09-16T21:26:00.000-07:00

I have to confess something: I can't wait for May 2nd.

That's right. "IronMan" is released that day. The movie. (trailer link http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/ironman/large_trailer.html)

It looks awesome. From what I can tell, they're going to accurately depict the creation of Iron Man (or at least as close as you can come with a movie), his mission, morals, and above all, the man behind it. We all know Tony Stark is a megalomaniac who lives for money, power and, oddly enough, his fucking amazing alter-ego/creation/thing, Ironman.

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

I haven't been this excited by a movie trailer since "300." Hell, I'm more excited by this trailer. It's fucking Iron Man, baby. Every comic nerd in the world is going to be waiting with baited breathe to see if it lives up to it's potential. And then we're going to be sitting around waiting anxiously for a second installment, maybe the creation of the Avengers... oh god, the pure, glorious potential of this movie. It's so great I keep having to remove exclamation marks because they make writing look stupid. Dammit.

I approve of the choice for Tony Stark. From what I can tell, the graphics are good. I mean, the shots of the original Ironman suit are straight from the comics. STRAIGHT FROM THE COMICS! How often does that actually happen in comic book movies that Frank Miller isn't working on? Oh, right, never. I can't contain my excitement.

It's really looking like this upcoming year will be a good one for comic fans. "Dark Knight," starring Christian Bale and Heath Ledger as Joker, and done in the style of the comic, complete with the morbid, spooky, not-for-wussy-bitches plot-lines is just around the corner. "IronMan" is going to rock my socks off. The second "Sin City" is due sometime next year.

It's good to be a geek.

Amy out.

mirror mirror on the wall, NO MORE MUTANTS!

2007-08-25T23:47:00.000-07:00

"No more mutants."

Never has there been three words so devastating to the marvel universe.
No, the creators didn't get together and decide to end all mutant-related story lines. Try more along the lines of Scarlet Witch losing her marbles and altering the universe as we know it. Crazy bitch.

I really shouldn't go re-reading comics that made me stumble around in a stupor for several days after, asking people if they knew where Professor X was. He's a good man, despite his weakness for stairs. He can make things right... yeaaaaaaaah.

My point is, "House of M" is referenced in both the New Avengers and Astonishing X-men storylines. It included Ironman, Spiderman, Nick Cage... in other words, it was an event that encompassed the entirety of the Marvel Universe and is referred to on a regular basis (most of the time by someone going "what the hell is House of M?").

In other words, "House of M" is phenomenal.

That is all.

Amy out.

Adventures in a Giant Box

2007-08-08T01:38:00.000-07:00

Recently I came into the possession of a massive box of assorted comics, ranging from the complete House of M, to Toxin (orgasm!) to New Avengers and a large number of X-men. I am oh-so-satisfied with life right now.

And then I realized no one knows who the Sentry is. Could it be that one of the old-school heroes has slipped into oblivion? The man who slipped into insanity after saving the world and pushing his power to the utmost limits, resurrected in the New Avengers series, and was remembered by none. How fitting that the man with the power of a thousand suns and forgotten by the Marvel Universe should also be forgotten in ours.

I confess, Robert Reynolds is one of my favorite superheros of all time. The mental strife he endures, the pain of the knowledge that he accidentally murdered his wife, the voluntary confinement, the return to power after the mass prison-breakout that occurred in the first issue of New Avengers, his honor, nobility, and most of all, the apparently limitlessness of his powers. The Sentry kicks ass, my friends. I love him.

So that was my random comic push/rant for the month. Have fun, and I hope somebody picks up an issue of "The Sentry" (very old school, think the early '80's) and becomes and engrossed in his adventures as I have been since I first read one of his comics.

Amy out.

Captain's Log, Stardate 7.03.07 Starship Enterprise

2007-07-04T00:57:00.000-07:00

This has been an eventful summer. And by eventful I mean physically and emotionally draining. There is no doubt in my mind that I work too much and too hard, despite the raise. I'm understaffed, overworked, and stressed about my job, which in itself implies that I am in desprite need of a vacation.

But with my work, I have acquired a large sum of excess cash, also known as "tips," which is proven delightfully useful in the furthering of my gaming and geeky persuasions.

I impulse bought an iPod, and promptly put 19 gigs of music on it.

And God of War II is the sexiest, most wonderfully challenging and stimulating game I have ever played. Most games I can set down and walk away from to go take a piss. God of War II... no, no I can't. Sorry bladder, you're just going to have to try not to explode because I cannot stop playing. Holy fucking GOD.

Amy out.

Simply Ramblings

2007-06-06T03:40:00.000-07:00

I don't know much of what to say these days. I can't wait for Rach to go to France, and than college. I want my own space, without her sitting over my shoulder telling me to cut it out and follow her stringent expectations and rules. Maybe I want to be able to be with someone who lets me cut loose and be myself for extended periods of time. My job requires enough posturing, enough pretending to be interested to make money and sales. Fuck it. When I'm with people outside of work, I want to do whatever I want, asides from public sex, since that's just rude, and do it with whomever I want.

I think she really just doesn't know how to deal with people who are, technically and in actuality, superior to her. I'm her boss. Granted, one of several, and the lowest tier at that, but I'm still expected to dictate responsibilities and I take the fall when one of my host's fucks up. So excuse me if I treat her the way I treat all my employees and don't let her get away with shit I don't let everyone else pull. I have had waiters talk to me about how much it bothers them when she's (actual quote) "mean" to me and treats me like shit. So what, she's my sister, I'm used to it. I'm also younger and her superior, it's just her acting out. Except when I try to point her in a direction to better to status and overall service experience for customers and get told to fuck myself because she doesn't have to listen to me... yeah, there's a point when I get sick of it. At least act like you care, women. Seriously.

And don't even get me going on my pseudo-relationship. Seven months now, with a brief intermission and refusal on both parts to take it to an official level. But I realized a few nights ago that I don't care how much his ex-fiance wants him back- I 'm the one who wakes up next to him, I'm the one who gets to have sex with him, and I'm the one he spends time with and doesn't hate. I'm the one who has him. I win. The end.

I don't think the label would do anything productive for what we have going anymore. It usually just brings drama. Ew.

Except there's something more there that neither of us will admit too. I'm not sure I even know what it is. I think i might be afraid to find out.

Amy out.

Finals, jobs and those damn monkies in my basement

2007-05-07T15:36:00.000-07:00

School's almost out for the summer. Thank fucking god, it's about time. I think I pulled a stupid when I found myself working two jobs for the last month and a half of the semester, creating a massive cesspit of exhaustion, stress, and general fatigue. But it's almost over, the end is in sight, and my grades are, for the most part, getting pulled up to A's, with the exception of French, where it is apparent I not only have no aptitude for the language, but I don't like the class either. Whoops.

Come the 18th I'm going to try to escape for a few days to Anchor-town to spend time with a few of my more favorite people and generally unwind. I need a vacation before I go full time and donate my weekends to the Palace show.

I also I have figure out some stuff for colleges, too, this summer. Primarily, who'll pay me to come shoot for them, although there's a solid chance I'll end up shooting for UAF, given my desire to continue improving and the whole money thing. Plus I'd be closer to my friends, although I'm not sure if that should be a deciding factor in my college choice. Meh.

I love the two or three day period at the beginning of May when the trees explode into leaf and the entire world is a soft, pastel green that you can hardly see against a clear sky.

Amy out.

Holy monkey balls, Batman!

2007-04-19T16:04:00.000-07:00

I am a nerd. I admit it, I love it, embrace it, etc, blah blah blah. My weapons of choice are PC games and comics. But goddammit, Marvel, why must you fuck up Ultimate X-men?

Here's the problem: they switched artists. The old artist drew detailed, realistic characters in the much more modern trend toward realism (and in my opinion, better art). As of issue 79, there's a new artist, and it feels like I'm stuck in the '80s with stylized comics that really aren't as entrancing as I want them to be. The better the art, the less writing needs to be done, and that's how I judge a comic- how much reading I have to do. I can't even begin to express how disappointed I am with the new artist for the Ultimate X-men.

So after reading issues 79 and 80, I picked up "Phoenix: Endsong" to sooth my saddened soul. Just for the record, "Endsong" is quite possibly the best character-focused comic book in the world. Yes, I know I rave about "Wolverine: Origins," but "Endsong" is just stunning, both graphically and plot-wise. So many story-lines twist together into a graphically beautiful and thrilling comic. But it did remind me how much I'm going to miss Greg Land's artistic abilities.

Luckily, my feelings of depression were smothered some-what by the reminder of how awesome my 18th birthday is going to be. For those who don't know, I'm getting myself a tattoo. What tat, you ask? The Phoenix logo. The cool one. On Jean Grey's outfits. Yeah. That one. Ain't it sexy? It's going on my left shoulder blade and holy crap I can't wait.

That is all.

Amy out.

About time

2007-03-20T09:55:00.000-07:00

This weekend is going to kick ass.

Wanna know why?

I get to hang out with my favorite people in the world. It's been way too damn long since this has occured, and I'm literally giggling with anticipation. Hell, I'll even buy the booze if I pinch myself and I'm not dreaming.

OMG it's real. Keke.

Only downside is I work Friday until around midnight, and there's always the project of convincing my parents to let me spend the night somewhere else. They hate that I work already, so going out and seeing people has been prooving a difficult task recently. But so help me, there's a "LAN" this weekend and I'm going. Hells yes.

Friday cannot come soon enough.

Amy out.

guns are good

2007-03-13T07:31:00.000-07:00

I love my guns.

Not only are they fun to play with, but they'll put me through college and give me an excuse to leave town in the dead of winter for warmer climates. Who said sucess didn't result in tank tops in March?

The only problem is, Colorado is hella dry. Yes, worse than Alaska. I can literally peel entire layers of skin off my hands, and no pussy hotel-lotion is going to stop me.

Ok, so it's kinda gross.

The thing is, I just don't have time to leave the complex, go to Bath and Body Works and buy hand butter. Nope, no can do. Now, if my hands were, say, a new laptop, or even a gun (!!!), the time would be created out of thin air and I would be in the appropriate store in a heartbeat. Maybe this ties in to my subtle lack of femininity. Maybe.

In other news, the most amusing message was left on my voicemail Saturday night (ok, so it was actually Sunday by that point) by a guy I work with. Apparently my boss still hasn't hired another person who does my job, so they suffered yet another weekend without a compatent individual.

Voicemail: [message about fire breathing pandas]
Jason: OK Amy, you know we love you. Just thought I should let you know that you skipped work Friday. Aaaaand, uh, we had no hostess tonight... the fucking waiting list... dammit women, get your ass back here. I'm trying to make you feel bad. Fuck. [pause] Anyway, shoot well, all that shit, we're gonna go get drunk because tonight was hell. Later.

All this from people who I mock, tease and hustle for tips on a weekly basis. Damn I feel loved.

Alrighty, off to the range to go shoot another match.

Amy out.

extoling the wonders of, uh, something

2007-03-06T13:25:00.000-08:00

The thing I hate about pouring all my money into my computer is that a few times a year, I end up never using it. To date, pretty much every dime I've ever had has in some way ended up installed in my baby. For a crappy little shuttle, she's a sexy beast.

And I haven't gamed in almost a week.

Part of this lack of gaming can be blamed on the lack of games installed. Reformatting tends to do that to me, and it always takes a while before everything's back on my desktop, begging to be used. Except for the past two months, all I've played is WoW, some C.S. 1.6, and a game of DoTA on someone else's mechine.

I think Gopher feels left out.

To top off my guilt over computer-neglect, I'm seriously thinking about a new system. I even have it planned out, complete with a new case. Oh woe, whatever shall I do?

Maybe after next week I'll get to settle down and pour copious hours into my gaming habits. Wouldn't that be wonderful. God knows I'll have some time, for once in my life. We shall see...

Amy out.

Drunkan Escapades

2007-02-26T16:16:00.000-08:00

Drunken DoTA is quite possibly the most genius thing ever. Normally I'm just okay. I won't kill my teammates, but I sure as hell won't win the map or anything. But apparently the more inebriated I become, the better I am when it comes to gaming. I pwned ass this weekend. S'rly.

Unfortunately, it is my habit to refrain from being in that drunken state of geekiness around other people. Something about my lack of trust in the human race and previous bad experiences just don't coincide with allowing myself to be vulnerable in a group situation.

Except for Soul Caliber.

Oh god I love that game. Well, the multi-player version at least. The single-player can kiss my hairy black ass. What's the point of such cool combos that require (gasp) a wee bit of skill if you can't gloat when you whoop some arse? Oh yeah, I went there. Woo boy.

I will now cease my ramblings and go eat something before I go play with guns for the evening. I continue to wonder who knows this blog exists, yet at the same time, I care not, for I enjoy being a dumbass sometimes. Ok, a lot. Shh.

Amy out.

Ah sweet sweet sleep

2007-02-19T15:01:00.000-08:00

Weekends are supposed to be restful. Unfortunetly, mine are usually spent in a restaurant waiting hand and foot on the people who decide to enter. It's rather... unrestful.

Last night I went to bed at 2am. And woke up at 1pm. Sleep is tasty, tasty nirvana in the purest form imaginable.

Yeah, nothing else to say to myself right now. I'm gonna go sleep. Maybe I'll try to get some action tonight... maaaaaybe.

Amy out.

Sisterly love

2007-02-15T15:58:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I'm feelin it right now. Because apparently I am legally obliged to drive to and from school, as well as any other destinations designated by my precious elder sibling, despite her drivers license and refusal to pay for gas.

Wait, doesn't she have more money than me?

Bitch.

One of these days I'm going to fall asleep behind the wheel with her delicate ass in the passengers seat and end up in a ditch. And I won't feel remorse, because goddammit, I asked her to drive.

What I kinda like about this blog is that no one I know knows it exists. It's beautiful. I could totally start bashing them and they'd never know! But I won't, because that might require effort, and I always feel bad when I take pot-shots at someone who doesn't know they're being torn apart on the internet. At least it's in a blog no one reads.

Amy out.

Manditory V-day post

2007-02-13T22:51:00.000-08:00

To all you lovers out there, may you have the best day devoted to sex ever. To the rest of us, keep reading.

Maybe it's because I dislike the concept of love, but this holiday seems petty and pointless to me. I mean, all it really does is validate sex and encourage consumerism. It's a day dedicated to that special someone, and if you've found him/her, lucky, lucky you. But please, don't subject me to your mushy, gooey lovey-dovey stuff.

Why not just go fuck and get it over with? Why dress it up and require flowers, chocolates and a nice dinner before you put out? Why not spend the entire night having sex instead of only a few hours?

Or maybe that's just the sex-fiend in me talking.

I do know this: if you want to get a date for this special day, don't be like this guy. Seriously, I'm going to stab him.

Boy: So, whens the next time where hanging out,

since I dont ahve hockey any mroe

Band practice on Wendsday

but still if we hung out, wouldnt you wanna stay for a bit, in sted of being some where then having to dash off?

Amy: I'd rather hang out with people who aren't trying to fuck me.

Boy: just thought i'd put it out there. what about this weekend, im having a bday thng

Amy: go away please

/blocked

Amy out.

Obligitory post on a blog I'll never use

2007-02-12T23:10:00.000-08:00

Wow. Why did I do that? Now I feel all... lame and stuff.

Screw this shit, I'm gonna go try to get banned from C.S. the only way there is to get banned and still be cool: without hacks.

Oh god I'm fucked.